Score: 75  Score higher if you like vague sexual innuendo or Howard Stern is your kind of guy.
(Scores  range from 0 to infinity, infinity being best.  Benchmark score of 100 went to Tim Cavanagh's "Sounds Like Fun".)
     I reviewed an early prototype of John's first CD.  It's still a homemade CD-R kinda thing.  Later revisions incorporated some changes in response to a few of my comments.  It's more important that there were tracks I liked than that there were a bunch of things I didn't like.  If I didn't comment on some tracks here, it means I didn't like them much.  My stand-alone CD/DVD player has a few silence gaps while trying to play the CD-R, but my CD-ROM drive plays it without a gaps.
   My impression of John Mammoser before I start playing the CD is that he has some funny hits and just about everything you do is sexual innuendo, which is too high a percentage for my taste.  The CD label and booklet (J card) look pretty good, for a homemade job.  There is no backside jewel case tray insert.  It needs the case edge to be labeled though, so I can find John Mammoser when looking through my CD collection.
John Mammoser writes:
I used your suggestion for the CD J-card, and put the song-list on the back, and Title on the sides.... so version     3.0 will all have the new and improved design....
This is especially true if you are going to raise the price to $19, which is about the highest price I've heard of for an artist selling his own CDs.  But not the highest price on a cost per minute basis.  (Hey man, that Bob Rivers CD is only 24:47 long.)  Jeez, John, you have a lot of sound effects.  Most of these tracks are quickie spoofs of TV shows, using sound bites from the real show taken out of context.  Only one animal was harmed during the recording of this album.  I believe it was the Taco Bell chihuahua, whom they whacked really hard.  But they also they shot that cow.
First listen: January 29, 1999 by Eric Houg
Last messed with: January 24, 2000

John Mammoser's website:
KillerSpam.com

wow.... that was a lot of work...... I'm impressed.... not my best critique ever, but I can live with it..... thanx for the work, and the link....
John

Top 5 Tracks:
1  "9 Coronas"
2  "Jagermeister"
3  "My Girlfriend Is Inflatable"
4  "Yabba Dabba Do Ahh"
5  "Her Bazoombas"

Track list and comments:

ET Clinton's Large Penis   See what I mean about the sexual stuff?

9 Coronas   This is great.  My favorite.  A parody of "My Sharona" by The Knack, about how any woman looks good after 9 beers.  The lyrics keep changing.  They aren't getting much better, but they help keep the celebrity names current.   This was on the Dr. Demento Funny 5 lots of times.

Language Lesson 1   boo, lame

Dating Game 1   ho hum

Yabba Dabba Do Ahh   Pretty good.  A Macarena parody about the Flintstones.  This was on the Dr. Demento Funny 5 a few times.

Smurfs at 7-11   This is just a pile of overused comedy ideas: Cute characters talking dirty, sped up voices, the Indian or Arabic 7-11 cashier.  Sheesh.  It stinks!

My Girlfriend Is Inflatable   A parody of "Simply Irresistible" by Robert Palmer.  I love this song too, like 9 Coronas.  The lyrics have changed again, and I think I liked a previous version better.

ET Bob Barker   more stupid sexual innuendo.

American Express   Should be called American Distress.

The Brady's Are Coming   An entire bit based on only on pretending the word "coming" is "cumming", which has been thought of about a billion times already.

Babe - Pig In A Microwave   Another tired bit.  Reminds me of Tim Allen's Pillsbury doughboy in the microwave, which was funnier.

Her Bazoombas   Parody of "La Bamba".  The song is pretty good.  Her bazoombas?  They're GR-R-REAT!  It is in this song that John gives away a top secret of the male species: "I don't know her name.  I only date her bazoombas."  :)

Michael Jackson On Jeopardy   Lame.

Barnyard Karaoke   Pretty good.

Beaver Buys A Vibrator   The innuendo is not so clever because the sound bites are nothing more specific than the word "it".

Beat The Meatles   Gags borrowed from:
Boobs=Winnebagos: Steve Martin
Speeding on the highway, gotta pee: Travesty Ltd.
Beat The Meatles: saw that on MTV Cartoon Sushi

Northpark 1  A Southpark spoof

Off Of My Face

ET Clinton 1   Why not combine this track with "ET Clinton's Large Penis" to make it the biggest lame Clinton joke?

Beverly Hillbillies 90210   John must watch a lot of TV.

Buns Of Goo   Not too bad.

Smurfs At The Beach

Michael Jackson Diet

Larry King   Slightly better than previous lame interviews

Lorena   Parody of "Lola" by The Kinks.  The guitar sounds all right, but the lyrics are painful.

Calista Purges The X-mas Hits   That was painful too.  Well, somebody might like hearing the belch barfs.

Citybank At The Whorehouse   Should be "Chittybank At The Whorehouse".  I liked it.

Clinton On Jeopardy Howard

Cooking Commando

Gilligan's Isle   Lyrics from Gilligan's Island inserted into whatever the theme song of Titanic was.  A song idea copied from "Stairway To Gilligan's Island" by Little Roger And The Goosebumps

Cranberries Car Alarm   (Eric's prelistening note: If this is what I think it is, this will be good.)  Yep, that's what I thought.  Me like.  Oh wait, Rick Dees already did the James Brown alarm.

Dating Game 2   Should be combined with "Dating Game 1" for a bigger ho hum experience.

Depeche Mode

Language Lesson 2

Escape From Wisconsin   There's some merit to this movie review.

ET Clinton Inflatable 1

Star Trek 1

I Hate This Song   A parody of " Tubthumping" by Chumbawamba.  The I-Hate-This-Song  idea again, using the song he hates to tell us how he hates it.

Smurfs And Mr. Rogers

Folgers Bin Ladi

ET Michael Jackson 2

Football Hotline

Good Will Humping

Hooked On Phonics
Pretty good.

Power Ranger Movie   Pretty good.

Jagermeister   Parody of "What I Like About You" by The Romantics.  Funny.

Jurrasic Park Barney The Dinosaur   Tired idea of combining Barney and Jurrasic Park, made even even worse by adding that Barney is a pervert.

ET Clinton's Rash

Kato Man   Pretty good.  Kato looks like your picture.

Language Lesson 3

Larry King 2

Leave It To Beavis

Looser- Palooza

ET Michael Jackson 1

Drunk Enough   Pretty OK. A parody of, um I don't know.

Citybank Implants
God bless my Chittybank Guy.  (The recording is not to bad either.)

Massengil

Mex Files

Smurfs 007-11

Movie Plex Clinton   That was funny.  This is the sixth best track on the CD.  It's bunch of spoofs of movie names involving Clinton and his dingaling.

Michael Jackson On ET   That was exactly the same joke as "ET Michael Jackson 1"
John Mammoser writes:
I found 2 identical bits on the CD that I've gotta fix...

No More Erection

Nordic Breast Pump

Northpark 2

You Babe   Parody of "I Got You Babe" by Sonny & Cher, about Sonny Bon's last ski trip.  Fairly decent for sicko humor.  Needs a better title.  Bob Rivers Twisted Tunes did this idea too, called "I Can't Ski Babe"  Listen online at http://www.twistedtunes.com/Default.asp

O J Video Game

Power Rangers Vs. Barney

Santa One Of Us

Return Of The Jedi Klampett

Smurfs At School

Ross Perot Sings The Hits
A

Bed Rock A Bye
John Mammoser writes:
It's even got 1 bit on it Demento hasn't played yet..... track 72 "Bed Rock A Bye" is new.... just got done with it on Monday..... a parody of Shawn Mullins "lullaby"
Eric: But he already played Yabba Dabba Do Ahh, which is pretty much the same idea with the same sound bytes.

ET Michael Jackson's Kid

Language Lesson 4

Dating Game 3

Too Much Tequila

Star Trek 2

Stupid Guy

Smurfs Last Episode

The Stones   Not too bad.  Little spoofs of Rolling Stones songs about how old they are.

Al Gore Unplugged

X Lax   Parody of "Relax" by  Frankie Goes To Hollywood. Not bad.

Batman

ET Clinton Whips It