The Perch "What Hatched?!?"

Score: 100  100 means excellent.  Scores range from 0 to infinity, infinity being best. 
Recorded in 1996.  Reviewed July 12, 2000 by Eric Houg. Review last messed with on July 25 2002. 
Comments:
Well played studio recordings sung by a sketch comedy group that has performed every other week since 1994 in Charlotte, North Carolina.  This CD which was released June 17, 2000, is the same as the cassette recording from 1996.  I hope there will be more new recordings. This is a CD-R with the track list printed directly on the CD.  That is the only place the track list is printed, so my head must rotate at 300 RPM to read the disc while it plays.  There is no front booklet.  There is a tray liner with the credits and stuff.  With an ever so slight increase in paper, the tray liner could have extended to the edges of the jewel case to list the artist and title, but it don't.  I paid $14.25 including shipping for this CD.  The Perch website is theperch.com
  July 27 2000 update: Score increase from 95 to 100.  A CD booklet is not yet available but I did receive a  free CrO2 Dolby HX cassette and package with label today from The Perch people, so I can read the cassette cover track list while I play the CD.  The label also has photos, comic drawings, and the lyrics.

The songs in order from approximately best to approximately worst.
track
number
09.  Everything  03:23
It's like "Life sucks, then you die" with extra suck.  A young man learns from his grandfather what to expect in his life   Original and funny.

02.  Butterball  03:14
Parody of "Loser" by Beck.  Funny for the description of a boring miserable Thanksgiving family get together.

03.  Trouble Granny  02:48
A 98 pound super tough granny you'd better listen to when she says "Wipe your feet!"

06.  Dumbass  02:45
Parody of "Soul Man" by Sam & Dave.  Well played  Good dumbass lines.  Good voices.  The line "I'm George Bush's running mate" could be useful this election year.

These top four songs are all really good and a slight vibration might change their ranking.

07.  Wrong Librarian  02:32
The long title would be "You're Fucking With The Wrong Librarian", so it's not suitable for radio without mucho editing.  Kind of funny the various pretty ways that they sing "fucking".  This is the only seriously Þ@«%ed-up song on the CD.  The theme is similar to "Trouble Granny" in that this is a lady you don't won't to mess with.  Good song.

08.  Nine Coronas  03:17
Parody of "My Sharona" by The Knack.  A story about a guy who had too many drinks and any woman looks good after 9 Coronas.  Hmm...Are you thinking what I'm thinking?  The Perch songs were recorded in 1996.  That other guy recorded his song around 1987.  It's not the same lyrics.  The Perch version plays portions of the song broken up by plain talk portions.  I would rate this version higher if I didn't think it was a copied idea.  I still like that guy's version better anyway.  I don't like the song being broken up by talk.

01.  Corduroy Pants  02:27
A guy is turned on by how this woman's corduroy pants make that swishing sound.

05.  Eunuchs  03:41

04.  Lies  01:55
A song about lies that keep marriages together and stuff.
    Worst

Listen to samples of all nine tracks in order.  32.1Kbps mono.  RealAudio: streaming , download . MP3: streaming , download
Tracks listed in track order
01.  Corduroy Pants  02:27
02.  Butterball  03:14
03.  Trouble Granny  02:48
04.  Lies  01:55
05.  Eunuchs  03:41
06.  Dumbass  02:45
07.  Wrong Librarian  02:32
08.  Nine Coronas  03:17
09.  Everything  03:23

total play time: 26:06

 Date:  July 15 2000
 From:   Perchclub at aol.com
Shannan Brice, Owner - The Perch Sketch Comedy Club, writes:

   I am glad you finally found us. That's so cool.  I loved the review. Thanks a million!  The main writer was Jose Arroyo, and his favorite song was Corduroy Pants. I think because it goes over so well live. He is a hysterical performer.  Thank again, and I can email you the jacket, or send it by the gov't, if you would like.

   My personal favorite is We Are Eunuchs. :-)  The college crowd seems to dig Nine Coronas. But again, these were all recorded 4 years ago.  We are currently in the studio with Jamie Hoover recording 14 more. At three songs per show, 217 shows, we got a bunch of parodies and originals under our belt.  Getting the time and money to produce them is another matter all together.
  The 9 coronas is a parody, and I'm sure there are a thousand, but I can guarantee he did his own thing.  We started performing that song when we opened in June 1994. Jose is the writer I told you about -- with the Dennis Miller Live show on HBO. He's written for Miller since 1997.